On turning 50…
Thursday February 18th I turned 50.
In the middle of a Corona lockdown, it’s not possible to have a party. It’s also winter and I don’t really want to be celebrated either. I’m just not the center of the party kind of girl. Instead, we visited my mum in Sonderborg, Sigurd, Johan and Magne and I. Laurits had gone to a summer house with four friends – when you are almost 17, your mum’s birthday is not important – round or not. Anyway, I didn’t care for having a grumpy teenager with us, so off he went with his friends.
All of us were tested negative, so there were no problems going either to the summer house or visiting my unvaccinated mother.
We enjoyed a lovely breakfast, I got gifts – two beautiful Pandora rings and matching earrings, 50 red roses and lots of love.
Later we went for a walk along the seafront and beach and ended up collecting mussels which we took home and steamed. Since all restaurants are closed to guests, we got dinner from an Italian from a restaurant and enjoyed ourselves.
The Perseverance rover made a perfect landing on Mars – a moment I will never forget and made my 50th birthday absolutely fantastic!
50 – then what?
I’ll probably live 30-40 more years, if I’m lucky I’ll be 100 years old. That means I may have only lived half my life. In Denmark, the retirement age today is 70 years, I can go on early retirement when I am 68 – maybe. So I still have 18 or 20 years left on the job market.
The last 20 years have passed with lots of work and children, children, children. Now the boys are teenagers, self managing in many ways, my eldest has moved out already and the last two are also staying less at home. They can get by without mum being there all the time.
In a few years, we will be empty nesters and what will happen then?
In the last 6 years I have experienced being released from work 5 times. And it’s not that I can’t keep a job, I’m very versatile and have been in the same workplace for almost 20 years till then. I fear that the coming years will offer the same short tenures, being just a resource that can be cut away when economy lags.
Right now I am in the same situation as I was back in September; without a job. I was happy when I quickly got a new job and was getting to know my workplace and colleagues and then – no longer required due to economy. It takes a lot of energy every time you are released and have to look for new work. It also takes a lot of energy to get to know new tasks and new people when you get a job.
From March 1st, I will again be unemployed if I do not manage to find a job. And again; when I find one, I must live with the fear of just being a resource that you can quickly get rid of when the company is not running optimally.
Enjoying life
No matter what happens, I will continue to enjoy life. Enjoy that I don’t have the same commitments on the home front and if the world must collapses around me – I don’t give a damn. Selfish, maybe, but in many ways I’ve lived the first 50 years on other people’s terms, so I think it’s my turn.
I have a few good friends, I have my garden and a lot of hobbies. The learning of recent years is probably that I know I’m mentally strong. I have dealt with Corona and lockdowns in the best way. Maybe due to my previous unemployment and thus forced “homework” where I learned to structure everyday life at home and handle the loneliness that can set in when you least expect it.
Winter is – hopefully – coming to an end. The days get longer and brighter and soon spring is here.
I expect to live many more years, many good years where I can experience the changing seasons and enjoy the good life we have – despite Corona and unemployment.
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